ID: EHX-1957-CAMUS-A
Wellness Circular, Bureau of Existential Health
Staff Morale and the Responsible Use of Futility
MEMORANDUM FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION
Recent surveys indicate that 63% of Society members report
“heightened awareness of cosmic indifference” during the Persephone period. This circular reminds all members that seasonal despair, while inevitable, is not reimbursable.
RECOMMENDED PRACTICES:
- Take meals regularly. Skipping lunch in protest of meaninglessness merely confirms the void’s position on your calendar.
- Hydration improves existential elasticity. Coffee may be counted if faith permits.
- Alcohol may be enjoyed in moderation, provided discussions of
absurdity remain collegial and volume levels humane. - When confronted by the abyss, staff are encouraged to
a) nod politely
b) acknowledge receipt, and
c) maintain inertia.
Remember: Every denial of the void is a small act of workplace safety!
Advisory Notice:
Existential nausea may be reported to the Department of Irony and
Wardrobe Management for laundering.